


What They Don't See

by riptideandtea



Category: Life
Genre: Anxiety, Could be triggering, Depression, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riptideandtea/pseuds/riptideandtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She couldn't remember when it all started. The worrying, racing thoughts, her pulse racing through her veins so fast she felt that if she didn't explode she might tear open her own skin to get it to stop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What They Don't See

**Author's Note:**

> ***COULD BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE***

She couldn't remember when it all started.

The worrying, racing thoughts, her pulse racing through her veins so fast she felt that if she didn't explode she might tear open her own skin to get it to stop. But she smiled like everyone expected her to, even as it lingered and pushed at the back of her mind. When all she wanted to do as scream but she couldn't because they'd call someone and when they found out it was just her and her thoughts they would brush it off as nothing and get angry with her. She couldn't explain it to anyone because they'd think she was crazy. They think she's crazy.They think she is happy, and joking and passionate about life ALL THE TIME. 

But when she gets to the door and it clicks shut behind her,

she sinks to the floor as she gives in because she has been faking it for too long. The tears of frustration, anger and sadness stain her cheeks like the blood that flowed from the cuts on her hips. She feels as if she is being pulled underwater. And she just wants to not worry anymore and not be afraid of this nothing. This all consuming nothing she can't fix. She wants the pounding and the pressure in her head from the unintelligible thoughts to stop. She wants to LIVE.

She doesn't want to feel like she is drowning, she doesn't want to feel that hot and cold, she doesn't want to feel depressed because of it anymore. She wants to want to get up in the morning, she wants to sleep at night, she wants to eat like a normal human being. She wants to sing, read, drink tea, go to bookstores and coffee shops, she wants to create, she wants to talk to other people and not over analyze, visit extraordinary places, to be...

"---Em. Em? Emily?"

"Huh? What? Yes?"

"You zoned out. Are you okay?"

She studies her friend's face for a moment. The picks up the drink in front of her and smiles.

 

"Yeah, 'm fine."


End file.
